Dear Greater Hassocks,

Firstly thank you for supporting us over the last year. I realise there have been many competing demands on your time and money – not least 10 other cafe/coffee/lunch establishments in the village and several large well-deserving charities that have needed much support, so any grains are good.

It has, however, become increasingly obvious to us that there are too many day-time opportunities for food and drink, but not a decent balance in the evening. In 2024 we’ll try and redress that with later opening hours and evening meals. We plowed that furrow for 2 years before COVID arrived, as there was much demand but in the end not that much take-up. Let’s see if all this extra housing has produced a few extra mouths to feed. Hopefully, we can also do something about our lack of street-level access, as we know this hinders some of you who would love to come and eat or participate in the various clubs that meet here.

Going into 2024 our Opening Hours will change a bit to start with and get longer as it gets lighter, but the last daytime hot food orders will remain at 2pm.

Monday 8.30am – 3.00pm

Tuesday – CLOSED

Wednesday 8.30am – 3.00pm

Thursday 8.30pm – 3.00pm

Friday 8.00pm – 2.00pm

Saturday 9.00am – 2.00pm

Sunday 9.00am – 2.00pm

Ha Ha Hassocks Comedy

Born out of the often-heard lament “Nothing Ever Happens in Hassocks” we started up Ha HA! in 2015- We’ve now decided to take a break from the bigger stuff. After 8 and a half years the logistics and the time spent organising don’t get any simpler when you have a nomadic existence. It’s good to see that Stephen and his Forge / so you think your funny buddies have taken on all we set out to do back in the day – bring comedy and fun time entertainment to Hassocks, then broadening out to our less fortunate brethren in the greater Hassocks conurbation of Mid Sussex. Next Up…..well who knows? nothing big but maybe some intimate evenings – beginners slots and warm-ups – but not before Spring at the earliest


I think it’s fair to say that after 12 years of The Purple Carrot we’ve had many good times and a few god-damn awful ones. Things have moved on and populations changed. Yes we still make the best coffee in the area, yes we still come up with some of the most inventive and tasty foods but we struggle with just how much we have to charge to try and make a profit to continue providing the same quality of product. Part of our rationale has always been the community we’re in and giving a bit of help and succour to those who might be experiencing a worse time than ourselves but we can no longer physically afford to do this. So this will be our last year – in this form at least. When you think about it how many people actually do the exact same job for 13 years? it’s been fun but I need a break, and so do you all….probably

Festive? but what happens after?

Enjoy your festivities whatever they may be, but return to the Carrot afor end of ’23


  • 9.30am-2.00pm – Wed 27th, Thurs 28th, Fri 29th Dec;
  • 9am-2pm Sat 30th, Sun 31st Dec

If you knock on the door in 2024 it will open 9.00am on Wednesday 3rd Jan and we’ll take it from there

Coming Up very soon

Wednesday 27th Decembera little quiz to get you thinking after several days of over drinking, and eating n TV and pressies and rellies and wellies and dogs in streams. Open from 6.45pm quiz will start at 8 until 9.45pm – we have space for three more teams. There will be pies and chilli, possibly even some of the ever popular turkey curry, and sweet stuff a plenty – BYO – £5pp including corkage

2024 – January highlights

Thursday 4 Jan 2024 – 2.00-4.00 pm – U3A board games

Sunday 7 Jan – 2.00 pm-4.15 pm – Philosophy Club

Monday 8 Jan – 2.15 pm-4.00 pm – Exploring Chess (new club, all levels welcome)

Monday 8 Jan – 7.00 pm-8.30 pm – Knit and Natter (new evening) free, but buy tea!

Thursday 11 Jan – 8.00 pm-9.45 pm – The Quiz is back

Friday 19 Jan – from 7.00 pm-10.00 pm – THE most popular of POP QUIZZES £5

Friday 26 Jan – 7.00 pm – 10.30 pm – Tasters returns – warming your whistle – £35

that’s it , then…?

After eight years of bringing high quality mirth making to Hassocks and it’s suburbs under the banner of Ha!Ha! Hassocks we have decided to hang up our comedy cassocks and go out with a bang.

The Treason Show (satire of the highest calibre – “Have I got news for you” meets spitting image doused in “Not the nine o’clock news” ) brings to an end a little under a decade of entertainment embarked upon to celebrate my birthday, at Adastra Hall, back in 2015 under the banner “nothing ever happens in Hassocks” – compared by Stephen Grant, featuring Rudi Lickwood, Tom Deacon, and bringing Ian Moore back from France on his vespa to headline. It was packed to the rafters, and I’m told one of the best things to happen in Hassocks this century.

So now we bring this joyous set of events – over 50 different comedians and many varied evenings – to a close and we would like nothing better than to fill the village hall once again for an appropriate send off into oblivion.

there are still 25 – 30 tickets left for sale – would be lovely to see you


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